Get jokes
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets an abortion, she can feed the entire country of Africa leftovers.
Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.
Why do orphans love getting r@ped?
Because they want to know what love feels like.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?
Because his TikTok blew up...
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
Why don’t Asians get stung by bees?
Because they are always expected to get “A’s.”
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.
Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."
Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.