Get jokes
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
How do you get a baby in a box? With a blender.
Roses are red, violets are blue, get the f*ck out, I’m trying to poo!
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Do trees shit?
Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?
Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.
Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.
Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*