Get jokes
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?
Not getting the job at McDonald’s.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?