Fun Jokes

Krispy

Suicide isn't funny but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat

A woman was sitting alone at a bar and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sadly. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks they decided to go back to her place.

When they arrived she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time she burst open her bedroom door and she said, "I hope you're ready!"

She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand and a 12 inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

The dude replied, "While you were in there I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants and came on your curtains. It's been fun!

Anonymous
in Orphan

why cant orphans play base ball ? because they have no home to fun to

John hickery

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes pulled down her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes pulled down her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes pulled down her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

Q – Why was the pediatrician always losing his temper?

A – Because he had little patients.

Q- Why was the little strawberry crying?

A – His mom was in a jam.

Q – What do you call a nosy pepper?

A – Jalapeño business

Q – What did the big bucket say to the smaller one?

A – Lookin’ a little pail there.

Q – What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

A – Roberto

Q – What do you do with a sick boat?

A – Take it to the doc.

Q – What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired?

A – Oh, snap!

Q – What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

A – Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Q – Why was the poor guy selling yeast?

A – To raise some dough.

Q – Why do scuba divers fall backward when they go out of the boat?

A – Because if they fell forward they would fall into the boat.

Q – Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

A – They lactose

Q – Why do birds fly south for the winter?

A – It’s too far to walk.

Q – Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

A – It’s OK, he woke up.

Q – What cheese can never be yours?

A – Nacho cheese

Q – What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?

A – Well, the flag is a big plus.

Q – Why do crabs never give to charity?

A – They’re shellfish.

Q – How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A – A buccaneer

Q – How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

A – He could feel his presents.

Q – What’s brown and sticky?

A – A stick.

Q – What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

A – Aye Matey!

Q – Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?

A – Only if you aim it well enough.

Q – If you’re American when you go in the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you when you’re in the bathroom?

A – European

Q – What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

A – A can’t opener.

I sold my vacuum. All it was doing was collecting dust.

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm.

One asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?”

The other answers, “I’m a big metal fan.”

Q – What do you call a fake noodle?

A – An impasta.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed space.

Clever Jokes To Make You Laugh

Just like corny jokes, clever jokes also have their time and place. Be sure to have fun and enjoy a good laugh over the following jokes:

Q – What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?

A – Ba-na-na-naaaaa

What Do You Get When You Cross A Joke With A Rhetorical Question?

Heard about that new band called 1023 MB? They don’t have any gigs yet.

C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, no minors.”

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” Helium doesn’t react.

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like OMG

Puns to put a smile on your face

Q – How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

A – 10-tickles

Need an Ark?

I Noah guy.

I’m positive I just lost an electron.

Better keep an ion that.

Q – What kind of cats like to go bowling?

A – Alley cats

I went to see the Liberty Bell the other day.

It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

Q – What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?

A – Do-you-think-he-saur-us

The male pig puts everyone to sleep.

You might say he’s quite a boar.

Q – What do you call a goat that’s lazy?

A – Billy Idle.

Q – Where do robots go for fun?

A – The circuits

Q – Why do math teachers make good dancers?

A – Because they have algorithm

Q – You know what bugs me?

A – Insect puns

I asked my French friend if he liked to play video games. He said, “Wii.”

The machine at the coin factory just stopped working for no reason. It doesn’t make any cents.

A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.

It was tense

6:30 is the best time on the clock… hands down.

I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A customer asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Did you hear about the two silk works in a race? It ended in a tie!

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

I put all of my spare cash into an origami business. It folded.

Q – Why is Peter Pan always flying?

A – He neverlands

Q – Why do hamburgers go to the gym?

A – To get better buns.

Q – Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner?

A – Because he couldn’t find a date.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.

Just a kid

My girlfriend is growing watermelons not in the ground though (we had fun that night)

Anonymous garca
in Ball

do u know ligma? have fun rubbing those ballz in ur tomatos

Anonymous
in Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said "Do you wanna?". Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.

in Orphan

Like this if you laughed.

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

I made a website for orphans .Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!

Anonymous

Can we go back to 2001?

I bet it was more fun back then.

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

A2eftyhfghcg
in Milky Way

Earth is fun and worstbmaa

Jamin Ben

A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, theres a spider. The blind man simply said. "Step on it".

Anonymous

why are so many people making fun of people with wheel chairs?

-they can’t stand up for themselves

Anonymous
in Orphan

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea then Asked for his parents. God orphanages are fun to work at!!

Tarik

Fun fact: The max comments on a joke in this website is 1000 (LINK IN COMMENTS FOR PROOF)

That one guy

You know how there were like...two towers..i had so much fun playing jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!!!!!!!

Geekysonic

James Woods, starring in the newest movie: September 11, two thousand fun