bro living is so expensive and im not even having fun doing it or getting my moneys worth
You cant spell Funeral without fun.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine
So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.
Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.
At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.
While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.
Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!
Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around.
Why can't orphans play dodgeball because no one misses them
I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend enyaw . I cba with jokes basically me and enyaw always scissor
A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.Demon: why you sad
Guy: I’m in hell can’t u see
Demon: will we have fun here at hell
Guy: really nice
Demon: we do sleeping in on Mondays
GuY:OoOoOo
Demon: Tuesdays we swim in out lava or dive in fire if u die you’re already dead ☠️
Guy: ok dose that meean I’m a ghost
Demon: no ur not a ghost
Demon:Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺
Guy: ooooooo i can’t wait 😜
Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die and ur already dead remember that
Guy: ok but I am dead and if I die again I was already dead right?
Demon: yup.
Demon: I have a question are you gay and do you like kissing fire girls and if u die u are already dead
Guy: Ummm I am not gay and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱
Demon:then u won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday heheh.
Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell🪦🏴☠️☠️☠️💀
Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now
I found this game, it's like flappy bird.:https://terrorist.group/
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly"
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
What does a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Not to be rude or anything but im not adopted my bf is and some of these are really mean because sometimes there parents give them up just because there ugly or just because of there skin color We should stop making fun of them and yes i do gigle sometimes but they can be relay hurtful sometimes
9/11 is not funny. its just plane disrespectful to make fun of it
"learn to fly a plane," they said. "it'll be fun," they said...
For Some Reason People Make Fun Of My Name Because It Rimes With Something That Starts With An F
Why Did Technoblade Die? Because God Wished Him Dead For All The Orphans He Made Fun Of
being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. they get to play Cut the rope on the job all the time!
you look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if i give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
How to know something won’t be fun: Someone will say cmon it’ll be fun!
I love when I could run throw the grass and feel the wind on my face. Then my mom told me to get off VR and then I wheeled myself to her
