Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
Friends Jokes
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he'd ever read."
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.
Like and comment if you will be my friend!
People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.
Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).
She wasn't joking. :0
We are 15....
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.