Frequency jokes

Why was Mrs. Claus upset?

Because Santa only comes once a year.

Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?

Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.

A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."

What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.

What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

I poo 11 times a day.

HKY FM? Hmm.

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?

A couple is on their first date.

Man: How do you feel about sex?

Woman: I like it infrequently.

Man: I see. Is that one word or two?

Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?

I only listen to waltz 3/4 of the time.