Frequency jokes

Why was Mrs. Claus upset?

Because Santa only comes once a year.

Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?

Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.

A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."

What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.

What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

I poo 11 times a day.

HKY FM? Hmm.

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?

Who read the most words?

911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.

Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.

Know what a 6.9 is?

Another good thing screwed up by a period.