Bosses are like seagulls. They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Why where the peopel in twin towers mad that wonted a drive frow pepperoni pizza but got a fly frow plan in sted
What does a bar fly and a Necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a Cold one once in awhile.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot how many are there still on the fence
None the rest fly away
A fly is 6 inches above water and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly then a bear garbs the fish and eats it, then a hunter shot the bear and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it then a cat runs down to get the mouse trips and falls into the water and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
A masquito with a Mario hat on flys on you saying it's a me malario
what has three balls and flys through space?
E.T. the extra testicle
I once had an owl hoo-ed think it would fly away?
1950: In the future there will be flying cars
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson
I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by, I checked my watch and said, "My how time is FLYING by."
Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked, he thought "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened" so he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her. Wonder Woman stood up and said "What was that?" the Invisible man said "I don't know but my asshole stinks"
Yo mama so tall!!! when she wake up from her bed she stands up and found NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
Whats the difference between an ISIS militant base and a pakistani childrens school?
I dont know, i just fly the drone.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food! *LAUGH*
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs. "For the last time Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!" The man with glasses frowns. "Where did all the others go, then?"
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”
I can tell you a airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head
