Float jokes

So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"

The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.

How do you make a baby float?

You take your foot off its head.

Why can Jesus walk on water?

Because rubbish floats.

"Float like a cracker, sting like a beaner!"

How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?

The wheelchair floats to the top.

In Mia's world, where bottles and parrots meet, A whimsical symphony takes its seat.

With feathers ablaze, the parrots take flight, Their vibrant hues painting the day with delight.

Mia, a dreamer with a heart full of glee, Embraces the beauty for all to see.

Her bottles, like whispers of stories untold, Capture the magic that time cannot hold.

Each bottle, a vessel of dreams and desires, Unveiling the soul's deepest fires.

They dance in the sunlight, sparkle and gleam, A kaleidoscope of colors in Mia's dream.

Parrots, enchanting with melodies rare, Sing ballads of love, floating through the air.

Their voices, like echoes of nature's sweet call, Enchanting all hearts, big and small.

Mia, with reverence, sets the parrots free, To soar across oceans, to distant lands and seas.

In their freedom, they find their truest grace, A testament to love's boundless space.

And as Mia's bottles journey afar, They carry her dreams, like a guiding star.

Through mountains and valleys, they'll forever roam, In the hearts of dreamers, they'll always find home.

Uranus floats around in space.

How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?

The wheelchair floats to the top.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

What is yellow and does not float well?

A school bus.

Q: What's yellow and floats?

A: A bus full of children.

There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.

I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"

Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

Pennywise: "They all float down here!"

Titanic: *hold my beer*