Film

Film jokes

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Movie

  • What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?

    nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd

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    Actor

  • As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

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    Die Hard

  • If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?

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    Ice Cream

  • Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

    The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

    Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

    The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

    Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

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  • Morbius

  • Cause they about to taste my Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) Morbius (His name is Dr. Michael Morbius)

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