Film jokes
What do you call a sad porno?
A tear jerker.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
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"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
What do you call a group of depressed people? The Suicide Squad.
What did the star say? It's Star Trek.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was "Spider-Man: No Way Home."
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
Morbius is definitely one of the movies ever made. One of the movies of all time.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
Cause they about to taste my Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the Morbius! I got that acrimonious odious Cause the bats are copious My blood flow is harmonious Bout to act felonious You know they hating us And we getting treasonous Woo when they get bit with the (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) (Morbius) Morbius (His name is Dr. Michael Morbius)
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
What are orphans' least favorite movie?
The Promised Neverland.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
Morbius was awesome, and the Batman sucked.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣