Father's jokes
Dads are boomerangs, I hope.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
They have no mother's or father's day.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
Why are there only 363 days for orphans?
Because they don't have Mothers' and Fathers' Day.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To finally call someone father. 😂😂
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
Why do orphans go to church?
So at least they will have someone to call father.
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.