Fat jokes

Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.

Huggy's so fat, Playtime Co. had to make him a monument of fatness.

Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

Yo mama is so fat that even CaseOh couldn't bang her.

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.

Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”

The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.

Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.

Obese is the N-word for fat people.

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.

He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.

Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.

Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.

Why can't fat kids change a tire?

They would eat the donut.

What do you call a fat transgender midget?

Jigglypuff.