Farmers jokes

Child: *drinking milk*

Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?

Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.

Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.

Child: *realizes*

There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

I hope my teacher will be ok.

Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?

Because he kept on running out of the pen.

A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."

How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.

Why did the farmer go to the strip club?

Because he was looking for his hoe.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?!"

What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?

One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.

Why did the cow jump over the moon?

Because the farmer had cold hands!

Why don’t cows have any money?

Because farmers milk them dry.

Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."

The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."

Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅

What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?

They both need a hoe to stay in business.

What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?

"Deja moo!"

Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵

He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez

After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.

But when he rounded them up, he had 200.

Why did the farmer eat a fork?

'Cause he's a dumbass.