Farm jokes
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
What do you cross with a cow and a tiger? (mooigter)
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, go google it.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your fat ass mom.
What kind of cow has 2 legs?
YOUR MOM!!
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
What did the cow say to the other cow?
Moo you fine.
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
What do you call a Mexican rooster?
Un gallo pelón.
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?
How do you call a cow’s butt? A dairy-air.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.