Where do you get milk from? The Milky Way of course!
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn-yards
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor?
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?" The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow moving business.
WHAT KIND OF BEES PRODCE MILK BOOBIES
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow? He got a pat on the head
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
