Why are chickens so awesome? Because... Chicken noise.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
This city slicker broke down on a country road. He looked around, and in the distance, he spotted a farm house. When he finally got there, he asked the farmer if he had a phone he could use because his had no reception.
The farmer told him he could use it if he married his daughter. The guy said he really didn’t wanna get married, and the farmer said, "If you marry my daughter, I’ll give you half my farm..." The guy said, "Lemme see her..." The farmer hollered, “Hey you, get over here...” and she said, “Duh, ok.” The ol' boy looked at her and said, "Nooo thank you."
The father said, “I’ll give you all my farm and my bank account if you’ll marry my daughter....” The ol' boy thought for a minute and said, “Well I guess I can put a sack over her head.” So they married and the farmer kept his word and gave him everything.
One day the guy was up fixin' the roof and hollered, “Hey you, get me some nails...” His wife said, “Duh, nails, nails?” He said, “Yes, nails,” and showed her one. She said, “Oh, duh, nails, nails.” He said, “Yes, nails.” So she got him some. He was hammering away when he hit his thumb, and he yells, “Oh F*** it!” and she turned and hollered, “Duh, a sack, a sack, duh, a sack!”
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
"Bitch, I’m a cow, bitchhhhh."
Cow A: I slept with your sister!
Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!
All the other cows:
:O
Stupid cow.
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
The cow was stuck because 3 retarded piggies were blocking him.
What did the cow say to the pigs, "MOOOVE!"
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
- The Milky Way!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
moo.
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
