Family

Family Jokes

Incest

What’s worse than finger banging your sister?

Finding your dad’s wedding ring.

Rapper

What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?

An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.

Mom

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Blow job

I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

Son

Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?

They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.

Sister

Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.

Mom

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

Sister

My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.

Part

What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?

Family comes first.

Dad

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

Ghost

I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."

Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.

Depression

My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."

I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."

Baby

How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.