Family jokes
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
They need a parent's signature.
Why can’t orphans go to school? Because they don’t have a parent to sign them up.
Joe Mama has a chode.
Memes
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.
Why don't orphans go skydiving?
Because they don't have the "Morley."
No one has my back like my dad.
What do you say when you sister's annoying you?
Go oasis (go away sis)!
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"