Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
Family Jokes
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
What phone do orphans have?
An iPhone 10R.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
Joe Mama has a chode.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
They need a parent's signature.
Why can’t orphans go to school? Because they don’t have a parent to sign them up.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
