Family jokes
Mom!
Mom! (DYM 22)
Mom!
Why do orphans have no home?
Because they didn't have a family to give them one.
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
Why do orphans play baseball because they try to find home?
Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.
The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.
Why can't orphans go to school? They can't attend parent-teacher conferences.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it doesn't know where home base is.
Mom! (DYM 3)
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
Why did Ama cross the road?
To find his dad.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.
Why don't orphans go skydiving?
Because they don't have the "Morley."