Family jokes

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.

What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.

Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.

Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!

Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.

What does a baby computer call its father? Data.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂

Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"

The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.

At 6, she wanted a happy mama.

At 8, she hated acting like a mom.

At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.

At 11, she wanted to see her mom.

When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

You want to hear a joke?

Your mom.

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F.