Family jokes
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.
Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Yo mama!
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"
Why can't orphans go to field trips?
Parent Signature_________________
Why can't Jordan moan? Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To reunite with his parents.