Family jokes

My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.

Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.

If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?

He said “Wynaut.”

Why do orphans have no home?

Because they didn't have a family to give them one.

My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...

So I threw a carrot at her.

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.

My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.

Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.

Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.

Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).

I gathered some "slapies."

The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!

I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!

I feed it to them!

They overreacted!

Please leave a comment.

Bye!

What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.

When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.

Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.

A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

His wife asked what that was for.

"It is for your headache."

"I don't have a headache."

He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"

I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.

My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.

That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.