Family jokes
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
"Hey, Firesharky... How did you know if I was your brother when I'm not? You didn't even say my name, and plus, I'm lying about my name."
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents can't!
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
Ur mom gay, lol.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
Why can’t orphans have a good childhood?
Because they could not go to theme parks! 😅😅
Dear uncle, I want my condoms.
Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.
Friend: What kind?
Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.
Friend: That's not funny..
Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.
Friend: I'm calling your mom.
Me: She knows.
Friend: What's she doing to help, then?
Me: She's supposed to help?
Friend: Have you told your dad?
Me: I will when he comes back.
Friend: Where is he?
Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.
Friend: ....
Me: What?
Friend: Why?
Me: Why what?
Friend: Why would you joke like that?
Me: I was joking..
Friend: I know.
Me: Oh. I didn't know.
Friend:...
Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...
Why is Technoblade allowed to make jokes about orphans?
'Cause he's dead like their parents!