Family jokes
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.
Where did daddy cum in the bed?...
Everywhere!
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.
What's a name orphans hate to be called?
"Homie."
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Why was the baby Dinosaur an orphan?
His family was blown up by meteors.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack was surprised to see she had different eyes, and that’s when he realized... Jack had fucked Jill’s daughter.