Family jokes

Do you know why orphans don't have parents?

Because no one raised you.

We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.

Why do orphans get an iPhone X?

Because they have no home button.

Orphan: Where are my parents?

God: New York City.

Orphan: But they used to live in China.

I like chips.

Why do orphans like the iPhone 12 Pro?

Because there is no home button.

You're adopted.

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Because they miss Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

Why do orphans play GTA?

Because at least they can be wanted!

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.

Why did the orphan play baseball?

To find home base.

When an orphan takes a picture, it’s a family portrait.

Why can't an orphan roleplay? Because they don't have parents.

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Son: Dad, how was I born?

Dad: Your mum's a hoe.

Son: OK, what's a hoe?

Dad: Your mum.

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't reach home.