Family jokes
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?
Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked. Lel. I hope you guys like this joke.
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
I'm adopted :[
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.
The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”
“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Yo mama's so ugly that even Hello Kitty had to say goodbye.
Why are mountains so cold?? Your mom lol.