Family jokes
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!
Meme:
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Why do orphans not buy a keyboard? Because they can’t use the home button.
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
Why did the man get run over?
Ur mom XD
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because there is no Mother's or Father's Day.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
"Know, know how there."
"Lesh, lesh how can you at lesh remember my name?"
An orphan goes to a doctor.
Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."
Orphan: "But why?"
Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
Your mom's hot.