Family jokes

Jake: Can I go outside?

Mom: Did you clean your room?

Jake: No.

Mom: Then f*ck no.

Jake: Alright, bet.

(Brother named No)

Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because it can never find home.

Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."

Why did the man get run over?

Ur mom XD

Why did my parents walk to the other side?

...Why?

What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?

His hide-and-seek skills.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? Because they can't tell their parents.

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.

I like to make your mom jokes.

Because they're easy like your mom.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t find their way home.

If you want an orphan joke, just look in a mirror.

Orphans are so vulnerable; they have no parents to tell. - Masai

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?

What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Why do orphans go to church?

Because there they have a father.