Family jokes
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
Why do orphans go to public schools?
Who's going to homeschool them?
Your mum has balls.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.
Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.
Everyone at the barbecue...
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
Why can orphans just be gay?
Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.