Family jokes
This shit is weird (as baby girl pees).
Dad: “Trust me, shitting is weirder.”
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
I want to be loved.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
When an orphan takes a photo, it’s also a family portrait!
Btw, if people find these offensive, why are you here? Why are you searching orphan jokes anyway?
Why do orphans can't play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.