Family jokes
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Me: MOM, I'm tired.
Mom: Take a nap.
Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.
Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?
He thought his son sucked!
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
10 dicks up your mom's ass!
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because then they can play catch.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.
What is wrong with orphans' phones?
They'll never have a home screen.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?