Family jokes
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
I hate my stupid wrinkly ring doing f, dad!
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because his options were to go bigger or go home. He only had one choice. :)
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
My mom calls me.
Me: WHAT MOM?
No answer.
Me: WHAT?
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
To have someone to call "daddy!"
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
What’s the difference between Kendrick Lamar and an orphan?
He has family ties.
The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."
The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."
Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."
Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.