Family

Family jokes

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."

The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."

Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."

A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”

The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”

Wanna know something the orphan could never do?

Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.

I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

Why can’t orphans build anything?

Because they can’t go to Home Depot.