Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?
There’s no way home.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
Why is it okay to bully an orphan?
It’s not like they could tell their parents.
Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"
Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
Your dad's a cunt.
I made a website about orphans.
Sadly, it doesn't have a home page.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
