Family jokes
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
Who needs parents to be great?
What is an orphan's most relatable movie?
"Home Alone."
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Why don't orphans have iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.