Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?
The bench can support its family.
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
