Your hairline went back faster than your adoption papers!
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
Friend: Hey, wanna race home?
Orphan: What home?
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.
Your mama is so ugly, her reflection ran away!
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈
I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
