Family jokes
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?
A: The dead body had a family.
I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
They never reached home.
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.
American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"
Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"
German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"
I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
If I adopt a child, is it mine?
🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯😳
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.