Family jokes
It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
Daughter: Dad, why are you so mean?
Dad: Because you are so mean, that's why.
Daughter: You so get on my nerves.
Dad: I am gonna slap you in your god darn head if you don't shut up.
Daughter: Wow, Dad, you savage.
Dad: 21 SAVAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daughter: Oh my God, I am tellin' Mom that you are doin' that thing again.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So that they had someone to call father.
Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
You can't give an orphan homework.
Why can't orphans go on a field trip?
They need their parents' permission. 😆😆😆😆😆😆
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: They don’t have a home to run back to.
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?
Because they can't be home schooled.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."
Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.
and found that in all the videos his father is...
Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?
Because they don't have a home.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”
Why can’t an orphan hit a home run? Because he doesn’t have a home.