Family jokes
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
My name is what orphans can never have.
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"
His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."
A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
What's an orphan's favorite battle zone? The home front.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
Suck your mum's bum.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?
Beauty!
"Bill swift here, you make them, we take them!"
Sex has no feeling with our cousin. Because both are relative.
My grandfather loves Hitler. They both had one ball.
My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.
My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower? One of them gets picked.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they want to feel wanted.
You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.