Family jokes

Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.

Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

Kid: Ok.

*Bring kid to the orphanage*.

What do you call my brother in the water?

"Tsunami."

I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.

What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

Parents: "OH! Honey, we were just wrestling!"

Little Johnny: "OK! I'll join you!"

I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.

Orphan: "What family?"

Why are orphans always on the toilet?

Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

Why can’t orphans watch clean nice content? Because they are family friendly.

I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.

Me: Joe left today.

Orphan: Who's Joe?

Me: Joe mama!

Who does an orphan play soccer with?

No one.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.

Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.

Bully (😡): NO!

Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???

Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.

Little Johnny's dad was drunk and told him to grow up, and he said, "STFU, you need to be young, you big-ass bitch!"

POV: You're an orphan.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not your mom.

My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?