Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
Family Jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know what home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home plate.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't have a home to go to.
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
Little Johnny walks out to the garage and sees Dad smoking a cigarette. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage and sees his Dad drinking a beer. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a big plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven. His Dad says, "Wow, Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies. You think I can have some?" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass?" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, yes, Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass." Little Johnny says, "Well, Dad, you can go FUCK yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"
I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."
Why do orphans play GTA?
'Cause they're actually wanted.
