Family jokes

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

Why can't an orphan be gay?

They have no one to call daddy.

Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?

Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."

I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.

Why is your mom ugly, bozo?

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

I caught my wife cheating on me.

I beat my son and grounded him.

What does an orphan and a dog have in common?

Both got taken from their parents.

Why do orphans only have 354 days?

'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

Why are orphans bad at poker?

Because they don't know what a full house is!

SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”

MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”

I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.

What did the orphan want for Christmas?

Parents.

Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?

A: Because they're never wanted.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know what home is.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home plate.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

He doesn't have a home to go to.

Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!