Family jokes
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?
Because he didn’t do his homework.
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
Anyone want to fuck? Cause my sisters are such cunts!
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they got nobody to call "daddy."
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
I don't know, I don't have one.
The 2nd worst thing that happened to an orphan was finding out the milk man passed.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
What's the best part of being an orphan?
All the chips and candy bars are family sized.