Family jokes
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Your mom is FAAAAAAAAAT as FUCK.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and a phone?
A phone has a home button.
Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?
Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."
Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.
Yo mama so fat, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, there is no homepage.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
What is an orphan's hated movie line?
E.T. phone home.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?
One is wanted.
Why was the baby Dinosaur an orphan?
His family was blown up by meteors.
Why did the orphan commit a crime?
Because they wanted to be wanted!
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.