Family jokes
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
Why do orphans hate apples?
Because they get picked over.
What's the difference between an orphan and a bowl of apples?
The apples got picked!
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their home base.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang. Unlike its parents, it comes back.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they gonna tell their parents?
What's an orphan's favorite game to play on Roblox? The game Adopt Me.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where the home plate is.