Fact Jokes

so i was fucking my daughter the other night and i dont know what was funnier the look on my wife's face or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her

Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?

In fact, they don't age at all.

My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.

He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.

A stone’s throw away, in fact.

My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.

I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.

I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.

(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)

Spider-Man and Deadpool are sitting at desks in a classroom. Spider-Man is writing on his test with a pen. Deadpool is writing with scissors. There is text that reads: "Pssst, spidey, what'd you get for number seven?" "Dude, shut up! I don't wanna get in trouble!" "I got Waterloo." "This is a math test!" Are we not going to talk about the fact that deadpool is writing with scissors.

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut becasue they don't.. yk for a matter of fact fuck all you guys..

I was talking to a muslem yesterday, And he asked me what it's like to be blind. I happened to tell him about 20 jokes, in fact I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It 's not like I need the damn things anyway.

fun fact: this category of jokes is the MOST hated one by feminists. unless you force them the point.

5 Cobra Kai Facts:

1: Johnny = Daniel

2: Miguel > Robby

3: Miyagi Do = Eagle Fang

4: Chozen and Daniel > Kreese and Silver

5: Tory is actually a good person.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

I would make a joke about America... However, the fact it exists is a joke in itself.

Chinese always proud of their principle in business.

The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.

I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.

Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.

And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")

But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)

Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket

So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long

My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.

The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.

"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"

"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.

The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?

Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.

If a baby cow finds a wolf pup they will best friends but when mummy wolf comes it’s a fight so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a Secret but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf Found out but no one got hurt in fact the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long there friendship will never Break -THE END- this was not a joke but a meaning if you are different that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams and don’t Forget them either so no matter who you are don’t let people change who you are🐺🐮