Eye

Eye jokes

Eyebrow

    • Bitch: Nice eyebrows.

    Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?

    Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)

    Eye memes

    Bullet

    • What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"

    Girlfriend

    • So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.

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    • Deer

    • What is a doe called with no legs?

    •" No legged deer."

    What do you call a deer with no ears?

    •" No eared deer."

    What do you call a deer with no eye?

    •" No eye deer."

    XDDDDDD

    Wife

    • Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?

    His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.

    Drink

    • Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.

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    • Fight

    • My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"

    Burglar

    • A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"

    The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"

    The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"

    The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"

    The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."

    The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.

    As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"

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    • Watch

    • Can I watch you?

    Yes, you can watch me your watch.

    No, I mean can I WATCH you?

    I don't get it. 😑 *facepalm*.

    OOOOOOH YOU MEAN WATCH WITH YOUR EYES! YES!