Expectation jokes

And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?

Depends...

What does a girl want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

The three unwritten rules of life:

1. 2. 3.

A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"

"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."

Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."