Expectation jokes
Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.
My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.
James: I have a joke. Sex!
Ronny: I don't get it.
James: Exactly.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be expect bagels.
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"
"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."