Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
I laughed at my life so hard.
A true God would be godless himself.
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
Not a joke?
More like not an existing organism in life.
I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
What's the most annoying thing in the world?
When you're told you're still qualified to live.
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because anyone can take it.
I would make a joke about America... However, the fact it exists is a joke in itself.
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
Why did the feminist get banned? For spreading conspiracy theories about the (non-existent) gender wage gap.
