Exaggeration jokes

1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.

2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.

3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.

4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.

8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.

10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?

11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.

12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.

  • 1

    • You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

    Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.

    Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?

    My sister wearing all the world's makeup.

    Sister: Just a little.

    Yo mama is so fat, that when I unfollowed her on Instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage.

  • 2

    • Me: I named my dog Five Miles so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.

    Old man: I ran over five miles today.

    Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued," and it said, "Fuck you."

    Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.

    I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.