how do you get a party started in Africa
you put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss
I asked my now ex boyfriend why heโs scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesnโt scratch, but he didnโt believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat so yeah ๐)
There's nothing stronger than love except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.
1273 pleas kill me, everyone hates me
What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now? When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.
"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyoneโs dying to get in."
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown end up cleaning everyone's messes.
โYo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball everyone thought she was pregnant again.
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
why are americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say
So I raised my hand, he said why donโt you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
jimmy does stand up comedy he says โwhat do you call an orangutangโ
jake replies โYOUโ then everyone including the teacher laughs jimmy cries
LOL
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr colin, who loves making a din, he thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, that's not what everyone shows, about his life he ploughs and ploughs, about his dog bella and his relation-ship woes... mr colin, we do not care, when you speak, our minds are not there, your life you have unnecessarily shared, when we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr colin, rumbling about his exceptions, just when someone puts something in the bin, or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, but Mr Colin, drinking too much gin, will flail all his annoying attention on him, he'll push his limits, right to the rim... And just how i love flan~ Oh he's finally gone~
@DreamBlue
