Everyone

Everyone Jokes

Teacher

A note for my old English Teacher:

Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...

And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!

JIT

@everyone.. what's so funny is that JIT thinks he's so "cool" and that everyone is "amazed" about him hating on people who is wayyy above him on the roster.

The pathetic part is that he hates on everyone else's family and relationships when 100% of us have a WAYY better one than he will ever deserve. He was born pathetic, and will die pathetic. So JIT, please tell me what it's like to be such a coward?

Duck

A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”

Guy

Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?

PTSD

Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.

But why does 10 have PTSD?

Cuz it’s between 9/11.

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"

Gun

1, 2, I have a gun.

3, 4, I am in a school.

5, 6, Everyone on the ground!

Covid

Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.

Son (in a happy tone): I know.

Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?

Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.

Fat

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

Yo mama

When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"

Friend

What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

Boss

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Whale

Last week I went on a whale watch.

After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.

Society

Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.

I guess they're whore-ible.

Halloween

Hey guys, I have a question.

Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?

Melania Trump

Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?

Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"