Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
Evers Jokes
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.
The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."
Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.
Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.
After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.
Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"
The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
Pewdiepie: I am the best YouTuber ever!
T-Series: Go away you f***!
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...
He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
