"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."
Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."
Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."
I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
