Elizabeth jokes
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.
Dirty bitch!
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
This joke is unavailable due to the National Period of Mourning. Please return to this page on the 19th of September.
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II. 1926-2022.
Memes
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II.
Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.
What's Elizabeth Warren's nickname?
Pocahontas
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.
They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.
The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."
The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.
The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.
The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."
Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Memes
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My dearest friends and family, after seventeen years I have decided that instead of continuing to suffer in the disgusting place that is called “earth,” I have decided that Hell would suit me better. Yes, I didn’t say heaven, and that is because I have done nothing but sinned my way through life and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for rejecting help. I’m sorry for pushing you all to the sides and obsessing over myself. The only… Read more
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