Final Farewell

My dearest friends and family, after seventeen years I have decided that instead of continuing to suffer in the disgusting place that is called “earth,” I have decided that Hell would suit me better. Yes, I didn’t say heaven, and that is because I have done nothing but sinned my way through life and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for rejecting help. I’m sorry for pushing you all to the sides and obsessing over myself. The only person that can stay with me now is Satan. In real life, I would like to thank James Benitez, Malik Takahashi-Davidson, Daniel Kim, Andrew Cho, and Alex Goldstein. James, ever since you came from the Phillipines wearing a rainbow torn up tie-dye shirt and blue sunglasses in the fifth grade, you have been eternally my best friend. I love you to the moon and back. Malik, thank you for introducing me to everything. Skateboarding, cool clothes, and especially, good music. Thank you for inviting me to Nigeria when I was in middle school to visit your family. You are the stars, and I am the moon. Daniel and Andrew, thank you so much for being there right in the beginning, when I was just a confused little Chinese boy who barely spoke any English. You have been the best since day 1, and I hope you guys both go far. Alex, there is just no words for the kindness you’ve shown me. From helping me out with math work, to inviting me to your million dollar bar mitzvah in the seventh grade, you are the best handyman a guy can have. Of course, how would I not say things about WJE? Only the real ones know what this is, since I talk so highly about it to people I love. I have things to say for everyone, so sit tight! Kayla, you were kind of a bitch but you were pretty fucking awesome. You kept me company late at night and you were pretty cool. Cosmo, or should I say Lavi, you were the best person I met on WJE. You are kind, very smart, and have W political views. YAY ISRAEL! I used to hate your guts, because of the stupid Ryan allegations, but you are so chill. Madi, you are pretty fun even though I hate when you make fun of me. Although you definetly helped me out when I broke my poor legs in that car crash. Btw, My parents still hate me for crashing their BMW. I hope you and Jake go for so much longer. Which brings me to Jake, you are the coolest, most chill guy on WJE (oh shit, I can’t say that. Queen Amy is gonna kill me.) and you helped me out when I told you I wanted to kill myself (which whoops, guess I have already did it) and you’re just so fun to be around, even though you’re a fucking weirdo. Wade, I love you so so so so so so so so so much. More than I can express. You are the best person on WJE, the GOAT of alts, and you are amazing. I love you in a non-homosexual way. Jassy, or should I say Nate, you were literally the only person I wanted to share my thoughts with. You’re chill for a middle schooler, tbh. Arson, you are just a very silly person and you’re very comforting. I remember when we talked at 1 am that one time and we talked for hours. You’re really chill and I hope 11th grade is OK for you. Flappy, or as Emily says, wet hairy flap, you have W music taste. Tyler the creator is the greatest guy known to human kind. Btw, is your name Ivana? Hehe... Emily, you’re a bitch and I fucking hate your guts. That’s all i have to say about you because you’re the fucking worst and I hope you get another STD from Andrei or whatever your 11th boyfriend’s name is. Amy, you were pretty chill unless Jake was on. Feet, BBG! I love you man! Enjoy Texas, or don’t. The heat sucks. IWS, Bro from another hoe, or Ethan, I love you. You’re amazing and I hope you enjoy your new girlfriend <3 Ok that was long, but now we have the love of my life, my ride or die, Erin. I love you, so much. You are the best girlfriend I could ever ask for. You supported me, and I’m so sad you had to see me deteriorate. I’m sorry our plans to meet up in December in Shanghai failed. I hope you find someone else to comfort you, like Haerin or someone else. Or another guy. Love you soooo much. Ok, enough stupid thanks bullshit. Now time for the unofficial Will... I would like to give my life savings of approximatley $5,320.98 to my amazing sister, Elizabeth Li. You deserve it. I would like to give my love to WJE, because I love you all. And I would like to give pain to my abusive parents. Anyways, if you’re reading this, I’m dead. It’s been nice knowing you all. Zaijian, Li Zhengyu, Ingenious, or Ethan Li