Elevation jokes
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?
Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
I love stairs. They always bring me up.
Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?
He was worried about getting stuck between the bars.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.
Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.
Bully: u_u ......
Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
Why are mountains so funny? Because they are so high!
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
(DOORS)
What door is the first door that opens for you?
The elevator to go to the game.
Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.
The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.