Elevation jokes
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.
(DOORS)
What door is the first door that opens for you?
The elevator to go to the game.
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.
At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.
Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"
Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.
The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"
The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."
Why couldn’t wheelchair Harry Potter go to Hogwarts?
They had no wheelchair ramps or elevators...
My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
What do you call a baby in an elevator?
Lubrication.
How are mountains able to see? They peak!
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
If you watch "Jaws" backward, it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
Community talk
A man lives on the tenth floor of a building. Everyday, he goes on the elevator and goes down to the lobby and out the door to work. At the end of the day, he goes back to lobby, and goes up to the 7th floor, then walks the extra 3 floors, unless its raining, then he goes up to the 10th floor. Why does he do this?