Politics

JHaria

I’m just here to say that I don’t approve of political jokes…

I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

Trump

Anonymous

Donald: If I lose this election, I will leave the country.

Joe: Bi den

Name

twumpliker

========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club -

"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump… what the fuck up with that dude, man ?

“Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !)

. . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that’s synonymous for bein’ fucked up, for instance …

STUMP : TEENY DICK

BUMP : TINY TIT

GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY

MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN’S DISEASE

LUMP : IF IT’S MALIGNANT, YOU’RE KINDA FUCKED

UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS

RUMP : AN ASS

DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS

HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD

PUMP : SEE “HUMP”

. . . and last, but definitely not least --

JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP VAT 'O SCAT MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO STRAIGHT TO
HELL BITCH !! …

    HA!HA!HA!HA !  YESSS !!

… well boys and girls, that’s gonna be about it for me, as I think my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a big turn for the worse !"

…(splort !, plop !, drip !) … OOOOPS ! ‘snif, snif’ …

                ..... ewwwwww !! 
                                               
         (audience growing uneasy and unruly)

"Fuhhk ! … I better go now , 'cause I just went ! … ha! ha! ha! … Yikes !!

GOOD NIGHT LAZIES, AND GERBILMEN ! PLEASE DRIVE RECKLESSLY !

                                 (curtain drops)

(continuous laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants peeing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin’, fists fuckin’, guns poppin’, blood pumpin’)

"OH LORDY !!.. I THINK HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH,

… AND ARMAGITTIN’ THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE !!"

(one very quick curtain call, and swiftly out the back door to an awaiting taxi … with ALL the windows rolled down) Whew ! … Amen.

Trump

RallyCat2004

I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It’s been awhile since the last presidential assassination…

Puns

Not me

Who are voting for this election I’m voting for tricity so vote for tricity. Electricity!

Drunk

USSR Soldier

During the election campaign of 2012 we heard about Obama but we fought they said Osama. So I told my friend grab his gun and lets have some fun. So during one of Obama’s campaign we both shot him to death, which lasted a while. Then my friend said “lets go get piz drunk at Mavericks bar”. Then on TV they talked about Obama death and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.

America

Anonymous

Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

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