Election jokes

What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?

The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.

(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)

Hillary Clinton would make a good president.

"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"

Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!

During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.

Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.

These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.

What happened when Obama ran for president?

The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.

I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.

What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!

What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...

We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...

Donald Trump.

Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.

What do Japanese men do when they vote?

They have an erection.

Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.