Egypt jokes
"Tayam, I am."
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite place to visit?
"Hee-Heegypt!"
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.