Dying jokes

Rubber

348 views ·

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

Computer

6 views ·

So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.

Sheet

7 views ·

So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?

Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"

Scientist

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.

Plum

1 view ·

I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.

I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!

Death

2 views ·

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.

Sex

Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?

Woman: No, really?

Man: Well, the one I fucked did...

Humpty Dumpty

5 views ·

Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.

He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.

When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.

It happened too fast, he watched the very last.

Next he died, eaten all fried.