I went to the shops yesterday, I bought roast chicken, eggs and duck. The cashier read $45.99 it was an eggcelent price.
Me and my friend were duck hunting. He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!". Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
duck my sick
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
this isnt a joke i just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia
quack quack quack quack quack quack
What do you call a duck on drugs A quackhead.
alec is bad at league? jokes, jarid is haha
3 guys walk into a bar the fourth one ducks
what do you call a retarded duck
fuck duck and lick my balls
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with "what do you mean I already did it" then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said "Aww it pays to be lazy!"
What do you call a chicken that was cared? A tendered chicken
What a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack
I ain’t a chicken but I ate a duck before
Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road because he wasn’t chicken
How do turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill withers
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Cuz he was a Quackhead.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
What do French ducks say? Quoi quoi.