A duck walks into a bar and says "Got any bread?" The bartender says "No bread here." And then the duck says "Got any bread?" And the bartender says "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?" And the duck says "Got any bread?!" And the bartender says "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail." So the duck says "Got any nails?" And then the bartender looks surprised, and says "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?" And the duck says "Got any bread?" And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck? Polly want a quacker.
Worst joke ever.
What do you call a duck with no head
Your mom gay
really funny jokes at https://www.ranker.com/list/duck-jokes/jack-napier
one day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar,I ordered a drink,Howard told the waiter to put it on his.. BILL
So there was 3 baby chickens and 2 mothers the first baby said "why am I named calf?" and the mother said "I f###ed a cow" then the second baby came up to it's mother and it said " why am I named b##ch? " and it's mom said "I f###ed a wolf and the final baby came to its mother and said "why am I named orphan?" And because it's mother wasn't there to see it this is what I have to say "because you are one you ducking hitch!!"
whats a ducks favorite drug? cwack
WHAT DID THE DUCK SAY TO SAY TO THE POND? FUCK TRUMP
The duck bought lipstick when he paid he said put it on my bill
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”
Why did the duck cross over the cave? Because he wasn't a chicken.
IDK sorry...
3 blonde were walking on a path, the first blonde said, “Hey look there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way those are totally duck tracks,” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh those are” then they got hit by a train.
Q. Why did the duck cross the road A. To get to the other side
what do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs.... A QUACK HEAD!!!! My mom must be a duck then....
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gague shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun, he said "your crazy!", I responded "quackers"
A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I'll f--ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don't have any money. She says ok I'll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up fuck.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling QUACK
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common? Both are not a lamp.
3 man walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked!😅
Elephant
