DoS jokes
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
Person one: Why did the boy go home?
Person two: Why?
Person one: Because he had PHOAM work to do!
I did a walk today and had dinner 🍴 night time to do you a good dinner 🍴 night and dinner 🍴 night. I love 💕 was the chicken 🍗 I had to go get dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night time to be good to get a night sleep 💤 night night fun day tomorrow.
What is a good night's sleep, and what do I have for dinner today is what [I want to know].
So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sally.
Sally who?
You're going to bed right now.
There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.
There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
On a scale of 8 to 10, how good do I look?
Mississippi is a long word. How do you spell it?
Why is James ugly? Cuz he do be a nerd with braces.
(Bob holds Deric's neck)
Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"
What do you call a bad pun?
The pun is not punny!
What did the fork say to the cake?
A: "I want a piece of you!"
What movie do orphans hate most?
"Home Alone."
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
Hi, how are you doing?
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
What do you call cringe?
You.