DoS jokes
What do you call a bad pun?
The pun is not punny!
What did the fork say to the cake?
A: "I want a piece of you!"
What movie do orphans hate most?
"Home Alone."
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
Hi, how are you doing?
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
What do you call cringe?
You.
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the other contraction they know.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What time is it when you cannot do anything?